Starting With a 10
I heard John Maxwell teach that it’s important to start with a “10” over everyone’s head. Too often we meet people and want them to prove themselves or measure up before we start valuing them. Because of our cynical nature and the fact that we’ve been hurt so many times, it’s just easier to lower our expectations and wait people out.
Maxwell’s statement flies in the face of our natural tendencies. Because he’s asking us to look for the best in and believe the best of, before we even know people.
But why? Isn’t it wiser to have lower expectations, to be surprised if people end up having character and integrity? Wouldn’t it be smarter to start with a one or a two, maybe even a zero, and let people earn their 10?
Does the Bible have anything to say about this?
I Corinthians 13:7 Love… bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. The footnote in my Spirit Filled Life Bible states the following – “Love bears all things, defending and holding other people up. Love believes the best about others, credits them with good intentions, and is not suspicious. Love hopes all things, never giving up on people, but always affirming their future. Love endures all things, persevering and remaining loyal to the end.”
But again, why? Why “believe the best”?
Could it be that if we believe the best, people have a chance to become the best? Or conversely, if we believe the worst, people have a chance to become the worst? Can our expectations of others actually affect the outcome of their character?
Here’s an excellent principle to use in dealing with people:
What we believe about a person, determines how we will treat them
How we treat a person, determines how they will react, respond, or become to us
How they react, respond, or become to us, determines the validity of our primary assessment
What a vicious cycle!
We actually create the environment for what people become to us…
Do you believe this? Can you think of a time where you’ve seen this principle at work? Can you identify a relationship where your predisposition towards another actually created a reality (positive or negative)?
So why not start out with a 10?
“Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.” Philippians 4:8 (Message)
